the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
