His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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