I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
