You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
