we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
