yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
