Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
