Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize