Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
