You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Randomize
