Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
