when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
