I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
