He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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