Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
