Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
