I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
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