Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
