i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
