We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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