I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
