so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
