I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
