Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It's just like the Real World with babies
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
