I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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