I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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