two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
