You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize