Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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