okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
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