where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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