they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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