just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Randomize
