you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
This baby is an asshole
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
