Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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