I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize