meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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