Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
