Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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