This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
His hands were made for my vagina.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
