i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
