Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
