So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
