Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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