So drunk, too bad you don't want this
tonight lets celebrate not being married
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
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Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
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AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
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