Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
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Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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