Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
