are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
