idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
