meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
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