How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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