I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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