I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
