finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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