i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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