No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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