I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
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