it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
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i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
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Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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