I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize