I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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